Becky, congratulations on publication of Just Another Tuesday: Poems and Reflections, published by Stillwater Books, which was brought to our attention by Kerri Cassino. Let’s start with learning about you. Can you please give us a bit of your biography?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to share.
I am a born-and-raised Rhode Island girl, and my parents have long been involved in fostering children — well over 150 kids in 50-plus years. Several times, the children became permanent members of our family through adoption. This began my exposure to the DCYF system, children’s mental and behavioral health systems, and the special needs community.
Becoming a mom in 1991 started my direct need to develop strong advocacy skills. Educational, mental health, and behavioral health again was at the forefront of my life.
I had five biological children who have been my absolute joy and still are! When my youngest was five, I decided to pursue a license in therapeutic foster care. From that I fostered several and subsequently adopted four children.
These siblings came at a very young age. They all have significant mental health issues, behavioral health issues, educational issues, developmental delays, medical issues, and the list goes on and on.
When things started getting really tough with raising kids with such significant issues, I needed an outlet to process what I was going through because it’s a very lonely feeling to be in that place. I didn’t know that I had the ability to write poetry until I began to process the trauma, the stress, the anxiety, as well as the joys and overcoming obstacles of being a parent of children with such difficult issues.
As I began to write, and I began to process, I started to share some of my poetry with professionals at the psychiatric facilities, and therapeutic environments, as well as working with several agencies throughout the state.
My advocacy started to really bloom, and I became a warrior mama. The more I had to advocate, the more I wrote; the more I wrote, the more I shared; the more I shared, the more people requested that I publish my story and my poetry.
These days, as you wrote in an email to me, you “have 5 bio kids and 4 adopted kids. I am also raising my grandchildren who are twin 2 yr olds.” That’s a handful! Give us some details, please.
Yes, I have nine kids, five born from my body and four born from my heart. They are my inspiration. I also have my grandchildren who live with me. They are two-year-old twins, the most fantastic little humans ever! They are the rainbow babies to their brother who was stillborn full term. He was the reason for the section in the book about grief.
You also wrote: “For the past 14 years, my life has revolved around taking care of everyone. My adopted kids that struggle very significantly with behavioral health and mental health issues as well as severe developmental delays, autism and medical issues have been a source of extreme joy but even more extensive amounts of advocacy and stress!” We’d love for you to elaborate.
For the last 14 years, I have been to put it mildly, extremely busy. Between doctor appointments, hospital visits, in-home therapies, out-of-home therapies, medical appointments, surgeries, evaluations, multiple meetings and tests, it’s been a little crazy. The severe behavioral stuff I have experienced — you can’t even put into words how hard it is to watch your kids struggle the way I’ve seen my kiddos struggle. You can’t fix it. You can only try to love them through it. There aren’t enough services in the state to help where the most vulnerable children need help. Families are left to feel alone like they’re the only ones going through this.
How do you define “mom advocate”?
I think I would define Mom advocate as someone who advocates fiercely for their children. But at the same time, not only advocates for her own children, but advocates for the children of the state who are experiencing very difficult times.
Being a Mom advocate — it’s like being a mom with quadruple duty. You have to have thick skin, a soft heart, and a mind that chases after what you know is right. Arms to reach out, feet to walk in places that can be unknown, a vulnerability to share hard personal experiences, and a love for people.
Can dads and other relatives (and friends) be advocates?
Absolutely! I believe it takes a village to advocate and create change. I am lucky to have a partner who supports me and shares his point of view to help get best possible outcomes.
All right, now your book, Just Another Tuesday: Poems and Reflections. What inspired you to write it?
When things started getting really tough with raising kids with such significant issues, I needed an outlet to process what I was going through because it’s a very lonely feeling to be in that place. I had no idea that I had the ability to write poetry until I began to process the trauma, the stress, the anxiety, as well as the joys and overcoming obstacles of being a parent of children with such difficult issues.
As I began to write, and I began to process, I started to share some of my very honest and raw poetry with family, friends and professionals at the psychiatric facilities, therapeutic environments, as well as those I was working with in several agencies throughout the state.
How long did it take?
It took about five years. My poems started off a personal outlet that became a way for me to help others.
Who illustrated the book?
There are pictures in the book that were drawn by some pretty spectacular kids with some extraordinary abilities. I wouldn’t call them kids with disabilities, but kids with amazing different abilities!
I am very proud of the art that is throughout the book. The photographs were taken by me. I love to do photography as a hobby.
The book’s description on Amazon reads: “This is more than just a collection of poems. It is a testament to human emotions and lived experiences. As a parent of children with special needs, these words don’t simply tug at the heartstrings; they pull at the very core of your being.” Is this the reaction you are getting from readers?
Yes, people who have given me feedback say they appreciate the honesty, the vulnerability and openness. My goal is for others to know that they are not alone.
Just Another Tuesday is also a call to arms, as the description states: “This book shines a necessary light on the trials and tribulations of America’s mental health crisis, and the urgency of addressing it… I encourage you to read with an open mind, a compassionate heart, and a genuine desire to create change within our mental health system.” Can you elaborate on the crisis?
There is a huge mental health crisis that affects our children, our families and our friends. There are so many pressures and demands placed on people. Depression and anxiety are common, but treatment is scarce. Services are limited or non-existent. Drugs, alcohol and alternative ways to numb the mental anguish is clearly not working. We need to be supportive and figure out ways to maximize success.
What can readers — and anyone else — do to help solve the many issues, which include, as you write “children’s mental health, addiction, grief, sexual abuse, [and] children’s behavioral health.” (We regularly write about these issues at Ocean State Stories.)
If you struggle with any of these issues, don’t be afraid or ashamed to reach out for help. You are not alone! If you are able, be a friend, a support or give encouragement to those who need it.
What advice do you have for individuals and families that are living with these issues?
If you can’t reach out, reach in, write to process, send a note, find one positive thing in your day. Even if it is your eyes opened today, that’s a gift! Know that there is always hope and you’re not alone!
What’s next for Becky Almeida?
My goal is to promote awareness, encourage families, let people know that what they feel is OK. I want to continue to work closely to establish services for our families and respite care, and create an environment for people to communicate and support others. My heart on my sleeve, creating a sense of community.
